I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize