She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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