Farmville is her only friend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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