Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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