The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize