dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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