Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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