i just had sex bonerless
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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