I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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