Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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