hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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