I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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