well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize