he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize