Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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