the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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