So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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