i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
did you just send me my own nude
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We need to get me chipped asap
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