You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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