Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize