it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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