I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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