I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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