I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize