So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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