you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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