Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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