So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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