I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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