Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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