similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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