I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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