Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
how drunk are you?
Several
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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