I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I smell stomach acid.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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