Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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