still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize