I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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