ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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