Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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