I wanna passion pit in your ass
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize