she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize