What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize