I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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