I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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