If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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