South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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