i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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