So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i need some magic done to my vagina
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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