Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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