i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
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I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize